Soak it up.

 

“. . . of all the stories I’ve ever heard from all of the women who like to tell me about mothering, the one thing I have never, ever, EVER heard was, . . . ‘I wish I could go back and hold him less,’ or, ‘I really wish I just would have let her cry.’ No- it doesn’t matter what type of parenting or discipline method they espouse- they always end with, ‘It goes so fast. Enjoy just HOLDING them! I wish I could just rock them again.’ Even on my toughest days, I make myself think- ‘Someday, I’m going to wish these days were back.'”

This is an amazing quote. I love it. And it encourages me, a mama who has been spread thin as of late. A mama who needs more sleep, more “me” time, more pampering, more normalcy. It can be hard to admit because sometimes when your baby sleeps badly, or your toddler misbehaves, doesn’t eat well or has extra needs you can feel like you are doing something wrong (or at least that’s how I feel). It is always so liberating to hear another mother say to you, “I’m going/went through this too.”

I feel like I’ve been struggling for air these last 3 weeks. Like I am bursting at the seams and unable to get my act together. As much as I love my children, they can be tiresome. They bring me immense joy, but let’s face it, kids are hard. I am finding myself just trying to survive and considering myself a superhero if everyone gets fed and the house doesn’t burn down. I will give my dear husband a call when my cup is emptying and prattle on about what difficulties I am facing that day. How I didn’t get a chance to shower, to read, to watch a favoirte show, to cook dinner, to take a nap. How I feel like I’m on-call 24/7. I’ll say it again. It’s been a trying week.

But oddly enough, on one of these especially trying days, I took my kids to the grocery store. As I was struggling to keep both happy and still get out of the grocery store alive an old lady looked at Emily and started fawning all over her. She looked at Isaac and called him “one of the most beautiful babies she had ever seen.” Then she said, “I used to have babies all over me just like that.” She looked thoughtful and said what so many people have said to me, “It goes by so fast. Soak it up.” I pulled myself out of my funk when I heard that. I rubbed my cheek against Isaac’s very cute, bald head. Clutched Emmy’s very sweet sticky hand and counted my blessings.

I’ve likened these rough developmental milestones to transition during labor. When you are so at the end of your rope that you feel like you are going to either die or go insane – then suddenly maybe even longer than you expected it starts getting better.

So, I am going to list things I am grateful for as a way to start my week off on a better foot.

I am grateful for…

  • Isaac’s bald, wonderful smelling head.
  • Emmy’s growing vocabulary.
  • My incredibly involved and helpful husband.
  • A husband that spoiled me rotten on our anniversary.
  • My daughter’s sweet disposition.
  • No sibling rivalry.
  • Isaac putting his arm around my neck and pulling me tighter to snuggle with him at night.
  • Watching Fraiser in a rocking chair with Isaac fast asleep on my chest.
  • Dishes to wash (since that means we have enough food to eat)
  • Our beautiful home.
  • Good family that lives nearby.
  • Our church.
  • Good friends to call, have coffee with and sew with.
  • Emmy saying the Lord’s Prayer.
  • Being able to stay at home with my children.

“It goes by so fast. Soak it up.”

Emmy and me. She was about 9 months here.

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4 responses to “Soak it up.

  1. A beautiful post and a beautiful picture :o)

  2. Ha! Ha! Ha! I’ve been struggling for air for the past 15 years. And one day when I get my air back, I’m sure I’ll long for the days when I was struggling to get it. . .

    Oh, and I haven’t slept for 15 years either. Sleep is overrated. You’re not doing anything wrong.

    • Haha! My husband always says, “Sleep is for the weak!” 😉 Thanks for the validation. It’s nice to hear that my kid isn’t defective and I’m not a failure. These things run through my head as an attack on myself and my abilities almost constantly.

      I keep reminding myself that this is my dream. All of it. Even the nitty gritty! 🙂

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